Topic: Dating someone with alexithymia

We can't all speak for each other. But in my experience, I frequently 'drop' people. I'll fall off, disappear like I never knew them. It is very possible, as in my own relationship, that you really were/are the only person he cares about. And we can care very deeply. We just don't understand why or how. So he may fall off as a coping mechanism. Alexithymia is a great 'condition' for people who want to disappear.

Hey there.
In my experience and as my last relationship with my best friend and father of my child. I am thankful for the relationship between us. We ended mutually. Sweet deal as our son has autism and I believe often same with this condition. We are much alike in ways. This fella may have loved you enough to die for you or "air as he puts it". I have never felt this way with anyone but my ex hubby. I circle round him and I feel as though I have more to learn from him in regards to "faking" what needs to be displayed to get by. However after we split, I lost that emotional intelligence that I didn't realise I was doing. I was also able to stop and let my hair down. I've had my fair share of emotional body breakdowns. Feeling hopeless and suicidal. Pushing everyone away. Easily dropping people. Like I had a friend commit suicide earlier this year, though he was a huge part of my ex hubby life and though there was a slight distance between them in the last few years. I didn't feel anything. It was though he wasnt much of in my life. He didn't impact my life. Just as if my family were to die. Sure they made an impact, however feeling if they were to die, I wouldn't feel much of anything as if I were to die they would feel a chunk of their heart was missing. To me it would be black + white. Who would I give a mother's Day present to, who would drive me to such and such, what are the practical aspects of it all. Just as if (sadly) my son to disappear, would I feel distraught or annoyed and overjoyed at the same time? That's a big worry for me. I apologise if I have gone off topic, there's good perks to this condition, especially if you have pmdd like I do.

As for Understanding what's on in his head is a hard one. Cognitive behavioral therapy may be helpful. Finding an expressive way to get it out is a way to get started. It's easier to make small talk than talk feelings. Music was a common interest with my hubby. So when I was feeling something I would communicate with music and lyrics. It might be something for you guys to do.

I would send or highlight segments of music that described what I was feeling. I couldn't write music like he could. He write me songs I couldn't understand but eventually it clicked in some ways. Find some common ground to connect with him.