≡ Topic: my own experiences

my own experiences - Is this you?
07.09.2016 by thesecretiveone

i don't know if i'm in the right place.

The general jist of who I am; mid 20s guy who has always been able to operate in a work/college environment. Saying this, the amount of faking it in terms of emotion can be exhausting. I feel like I if i dont fake emotion, people would call it out too much as it looks like im even not listening or not caring.

Aside from this, the main things i wonder if people have, and would appreciate hearing about are:

- Feel like i dont care enough about anyone that i could cut ties with them. Not in a dramatic or angry sense, just that I could drift and not talk to any particular person again. Its not anti-social as i do generally need a social circle, its just i dont feel i care enough about any one person to not have a problem not seeing/speaking to them.

- Obsessed and indifferent with change. I keep moving home on my own, hundreds of miles away, and have not an ounce of emotion doing it with no real care for leaving the place i was previously in. I get extremely bored easily and the idea of routine or long-term familiarity worries me so that might explain some of this point

- no desire to touch people. Not in a perhaps autistic way of personal space, just in a 'whats the point'. Hugging, general touching and kiss greetings I have no interest in initiating or receiving. Feel like i could literally go months without touching another person. That being said, I have no qualms about sexual intimacy in a single moment.

I do find a lot of random people comment on the fact Im not smiling or looking happy when im in there present. Now this bit winds me up because im not unhappy in the slightest, I just dont get smiley unless something is funny.

Does anyone else have a combination of these things going on? Again im trying to figure some stuff out and I do tend to feel quite alone in my experiences.

No, I care about emotions only because it is a comic story.
11.09.2016 by Abc

The thing you describe is more similar to depression. I believe you are depressed because you care about meaningless issues like those you describe and at the same time you care about emotional crap, and because you do not act like the majority of people.

Go like this:
- Understand that emotions are crap, like those you describe and you are concerned about right now or all the time. Stop being obsessed with crap.
- Understand that homogeneity is useful for lifeless things and you are a human being.
- Distinguish emotions from experiences.
- Do something useful for yourself and the environment.
- Think more and stick to religion.
- Understand that nobody really cares about your trivial emotions. For example, if someone tells you more than one time something stupid like you don't laugh or you don't listen to bullshit, it is because he tries to spread his emotional disease or he has inferiority complex.
- Control yourself by subjecting yourself to hard tests.
- Touch the fire.
- Have sex.
- Do whatever you wish to, apart from illegal, immoral and unfair things.

Either you continue being concerned about emotional crap or you try all of the above or only the tenth suggestion.

In case you decide to do the second, after a month write your experiences again and not your emotions.

Topic: my own experiences - Is this you?