Topic: my story

Hi.My name is Alex. i am 17 years old male and i think that i have Alexythimia.I made the test few days ago and i have high score .
My grandmother died,when i was 7 and i was like"Um this is bad"But i didn't cried at all.I feel really lonely most of the time and i have only few friends.I dont share with anybody,even with my parents.My pet died,when i was 10.I dont know why,but then i cried a lot.Also i really like reading and i care more about fictional characters,than real people (yea i am horrible person).Usually i cant describe my feelings,and if somebody ask me "How are you" i'm like"Im ok"
I can feel happy,lonely(im not sure if this is the right word to describe it) and anxiety.I really like my friends,but as i said i dont talk about feelings with them(and they dont talk either). i feel kinda happy with them ,when we are making different jokes and talking about video games,books etc.I really enjoy drawing.This is the only thing that makes me feel really happy in my life.If i am not drawing i am feeling lonely.My parent are telling me that i am selfish and very cold person.Most kids in school avoid me.I've never had a girlfriend im my life.When i feel attracted to a girl i dont care about her personality,i"m just looking at her face and body,and i always lose interest after few days or even hours(yea as i said before i am horrible person)I also cant understand if a person is flirting with me or making fun of me.