≡ Topic: Anyone from Perth WA

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Anyone from Perth WA
10.05.2015 by Sally

Just wondering of anyone is the partner of an Alexi, if you have Alexi I understand you might be very confused but as a partner I am guttered and I have lost so much in life because of this - I didn't understand what was wrong with my partner as I now realise my mother is also alexthymic so thought it was normal. It took me years to work out why we couldn't talk about normal relationship things, like buying a house, having a family, making decision about our life together. I was always crying because nothing every changed, it was as though I was talking to a brick wall - there was no response and the answer to my questions I received was "I don't know", these signficant people in my life just never heard me, it was is if they never cared - but now I know what the problem is. But this has caused a lot of pain. I just want to connect with someone that understands how difficult the situation can be as a partner of someone with alexthymia.

Where is PERTH?
04.06.2015 by DXS

I'm assuming the WA is Washington State.

Clarify?
11.07.2015 by nudisr

Perth Western Australia me thinks

Yes, from Perth
01.09.2015 by mafstew

Though I now live elsewhere.

Sally, your thoughts sound exactly like those from my wife. I am imagine it must be difficult for you, as it is for her, to be in a relationship with an Alexi. I feel for you, in a way. I understand that communication must be frustrating for you, as it is for your partner. Your partner is frustrated because sometimes it feels like you are talking to them in a language they don;t even speak, and demanding that they respond in the same language. And you are frustrated because you are talking in a language that 90+ of people understand easily.

This wont always be possible, but try being a little more cold and clinical in your communication. If it veers toward emotional issues, go slowly, clearly, and try to keep the emotion out of your voice. Talk about things like buying a house together in terms of financial advantages rather than romantic ones. As for children, try "I want to have children and I expect you to help". Ditto, if you want to be taken out to dinner, try "I expect you to take me somewhere nice for dinner tonight". You may think this sounds very harsh, but to me, those words are wonderful. I can simply act, I don't have to 'feel'.

We can be lived with, we are just a bit different ;)

Frustrating, I know
04.05.2016 by justina

Sally, I have just finally discovered what Alexi is and have been trying to understand why my parent is so distant. I am hoping to get him to take the test but he may never speak to be again. Confronted him today about his lack of emotion but I don't believe he gets it at all. I am not sure the relationship is going to survive. I understand your frustration and am hoping that we both can figure it out???

Frustrating, I know
04.05.2016 by justina

Sally, I have just finally discovered what Alexi is and have been trying to understand why my partner is so distant. I am hoping to get him to take the test but he may never speak to be again. Confronted him today about his lack of emotion but I don't believe he gets it at all. I am not sure the relationship is going to survive. I understand your frustration and am hoping that we both can figure it out???