09.03.2015 by Hmatata
Hi everyone,
My husband has been a game addict (I believe) every since we got married (more than 10 years ago). I used to always express my frustration and disappointment at him playing games online all the time, but I don't anymore. I just feel that I was the only one resenting his behavior, while he remains unaffected by my frustration and disappointment. He plays as soon as he wakes up, as soon as he comes home from work, and up to late at night until he falls asleep. He says that it helps him destress from the stresses of work and gives him the opportunity to conquer the world. Couple that with our recent financial stress (we decided to let all our rental properties go to foreclosure due to the values being way less than their mortgage), and our job change (in the past 7 years) which resulted in a huge combined paycut, I am now just emotionally blank to everything (have been for at least a year or more). I resent his constant playing, but I just don't complain anymore because it is futile. I just focus all my attention on work - I managed to get promoted to the highest level (the fastest rate) in 5 years. I have zero interest in sex - I feel it is pointless and a waste of time. The only time I feel slightly alive is when I go to Zumba class at the gym (which I started a few months ago). I used to pretend to be "happy" so that I would blend in with family. My mother-in-law lives with us. But all that pretending makes me feel tired and fake. I try to smile at her, but it's a fake smile, but I think at least it makes her feel like she's not intruding on our lives. So I recently just decided to drop the pretending. I loathe family gatherings, because everyone is always so happy and friendly, and I just don't understand what everyone is being so happy about.
I want to get better and get the color back in life, and be able to genuinely feel happy again. Has anyone been able to do this on their own or with help? Any input or experiences is appreciated! I think we deserve to feel "alive" just like everyone else.
Thank you for listening.