Topic: I hope I'm not rephraising anyone's post

I do, sometimes I know what I'm feeling but at most times I dont know the cause..?

Bushido... what I felt or - not felt - mostly during the last year was "emptiness" or "nothing"... it was an extreme "feeling" of NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO, I don't mean any plans or something "complex", just in the situation... not having words, not knowing if to turn left or right... it is - in my case - either deep depression or somehing like psychogenic amnesia... sure --> sucks as hell, yet - fore some reason - became better :-) as posted in the other thread, I "beg to "god"" (whatever?! I'm an atheist...) it stays that way...

Thank you Elita & SnowWhite for sharing your views & experiences, it's really quite interesting to know that there are others who know what I'm talking about- not that I expected to be "the only one"- and I must admit it is soo much better than some of the puzzled expressions I get when I ask some friends or family if they know what I mean.. it is oddly comforting to know that I'm not the heartless/messed-up anomaly that I may be seen to be :)

what matters ONLY is how you see yourself... ... another thing that helped me sometimes - was just to lay down on the grass/earth and "feel the ground", stare into the sky, try to calm...

I forgot another thing (memory is not the best after all...) I sleep much less now, than compared to some weeks ago, maybe 4h/day... It is (for me) very important to have a "task" or "work" or "mission" whatever... most of the evening and nighttime I spend in forums... working on pictures, or the "loudness war project", writing poetry and so on... (creativity so to say) --> this is what "defines me" most... It is e.g. not the (spare/weak) communication with other close people in my family... the thing that actually matters, is my "work", since it expresses myself... how strange everything can be... after all, this starts to "touch" other people,... I can not put it in better words - sadly... hope this helps...

today I made a riddle... why not put it here? http://www.ventura-audio.de/ldr/fractal5.jpg

Well at least you put your time to use in ways that it's manifestation can be seen & recorded. And I'm sure it's appreciated by those who see it. As for me, I just... Do nothing until I sleep.. And do what needs to be done when I get up. The cycle continues in a loop. Until I have something to do, which I will then do.. So at times I find myself giving myself in to all I do. Noot because I like it. But because well.. It's better than nothing. Other times I just carry on doing nothing because it all seems "futile" as for self image.. Well it changes every time I do or don't do something. I'm probably the biggest critic of myself. oh, and I would like to see one of your pieces if possible. It sounds very.. Interesting

I wish I was like the rest, if I have Alexi I should have been those people who are quiet smart in terms of education instead I am only good at self-understanding, knowledge etc which makes me look like a philosophy.

I think primary Alexi is growing into me (I used to have secondary only) I still remember it before my mind seem to go point blank. It started in school of course and I felt mind seem.. I don't know.. fuzzy? blank? until a few days later my mind went completely blank. Now I can't seem to replay the musics in my head or make it sound like the singers voice but if I do, it just doesn't sound right like I'm the one trying to force the music inside my head instead of the other way around and it makes it look like I'm singing -_-

I tried singing but every time I do I just keep forgetting the tune. Not only that, I seem to forget things too (before and after Alexi) or at least not everything, but I do find it... intriguing

So you "got" alexithymia. Wow, I have no idea what that's like so I'm not sure if it's feels like a loss or a gain for you- hope that doesn't sound mean.
But seriously though, what an experience that must have been & the transistion..!
I don't think I "got" alexithymia I've probably always had it, for as long as I remember anyway. Except that I always thought everyone was like this. only recently when I had a head injury and other gory details & stuff pertaining to the matter, I had to go see a psychologist to check out some things who then picked up on some other things & sent me to a psychiatrist. Then "discovered" that I had alexithymia, not that I was surprised. I was more surprised that it had a name & wasn't considered normal. Annyway that my lil story

Actually, I believe I had Alexi with me all along too...

Ooh, I see. I guess I let my mind get several steps ahead of me & didn't bother checking whether I was going in the right direction. Hope it didn't come across as (excessively) presumptuous. Just that I love to piece things together, though it seems the basis of my assumption was.. Flawed.. Lol

As for me, I just... Do nothing until I sleep.. And do what needs to be done when I get up. The cycle continues in a loop. Until I have something to do, which I will then do.. I know exactly what you mean... I can email them to you, will also add some on HP, yet I have to think about it for some while, which to choose and so on...

It's alright Bushido-san, It was also my fault for not being specific xd

Gomenasai, Bushido-san
(I noticed you speak japanese but I only know the basics only, I hope I'm saying this to the right person)

Eh, I think I'm getting a bit off track here

my mind went completely blankAlso know this one... sadly... try the "earth-linking thing", maybe... after all, I/we can't be of much help, yet it is good to see, other "monsters" exist, isn't it? well well, my daughter uses to call me "monster" from time to time... sucks, I can tell . . . I hope, one day this all turns out a way to - cope with - to get along, that's all i want, want back what I once had. All the best Elita

it is an effect of deep depression... yet is is part of me, taking over me sometimes... had to cry while typing the last one... can't help it...

Also know this one... sadly... try the "earth-linking thing"

earth-linking? Can you please tell me more? I used to meditate and ever since I was young, I find it slightly difficult to have a blank mind, to think of nothing, so it was easy for me to meditate (I started meditating when I was 13 but stopped 'cause I didn't have time)

Oddly, when I use the computer for a long time, my mind also goes blank and my eyes just stares like I don't blink (trust me, my brother thought it was weird) that's why I don't want to use my computer too long 'cause before I thought that I was being stupid especially staring without blinking? A blank mind? lol now that is odd. Sometimes my mouth ends up hanging open -_-

Damn, it's like I'm very focused on something when I'm not, just staring bro, nothing odd.. jk xD

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to add that whenever my Alexi kicks in (actually this 'mode' only happens when I cry too much) I would suddenly stop crying, my eyes would suddenly go wide (or slightly wide) and my muscles would suddenly relax and whenever I walk in this state, I would look like a zombie, I walk too slow and I could care less if I was not bending my legs to walk so I also end up looking like how a zombie walks with my eyes wide and arms down... just wow man... just wow... now talking about this is just.. wow

Is this also normal for Alexi people? Because they said they feel robotic but to me (depending on my state) I feel like a zombie slash robot. Not feeling a thing and a blank mind.


*sigh* If this information helps... I'm gonna 'confess'..... You see... well how do you say this? *scratches head* when I'm angry (like very angry) I feel like wanting to twist or break my body (actually, this also happens when I'm in my Alexi state) I usually try to twist my neck and don't give a cr-p if my body would scream in protest, I feel like a 'monster' (now that I think about it) who isn't even human, trying to twist or break they're own body whether be it pain or anger. Imagine a person doing that right in front of you with slightly wide eyes, knowing she doesn't think.... a blank mind. I think it would be even more scary if that person starts walking towards you and you try to punch them in the face only for them to twist they're head back, staring back at you


I suddenly have a feeling that it's not just Alexi I have (if you count bi-polar -_- )........

The hell SNowWhite? I searched this 'earth-linking' on google and all I keep reading about is generators. I don't wanna read a long information about 'generators' -_-

... another thing that helped me sometimes - was just to lay down on the grass/earth and "feel the ground", stare into the sky, try to calm...

didn't want to puzzle you... now I will read the rest... actually good to be back in this forum!

bi-polarwell well, might be the same for me, don't know, Scio me nihil scire, ..... btw. do you understand a little german?

My, my.. I turn my attention elsewhere for what I thought was merely a few minutes (felt like seconds) and already the conversation has evolved & is exploring new & broader (for me) aspects.. And I don't intend to get left behind.. I want in!! Lol.
Uhm, SnowWhite my email is Bushidodesu@gmail.com & I'm so interested in these pieces it's almost amusing.

Oh & I see you've come to "earth-linking", well from my little experience it is soothing, not that I do any meditation or something I just lie on the grass & "soak in" the energy or whatever it is. But I do find it calming since well now I get to do nothing but lie there & "be" without feeling that should have been doing this or that. So that's my experience of it

Uhhh, I tried to catch up on most things in this one post but I'm sure I may have forgotten something. But no matter I'll simply post another when I find out what it is. :)

hehe... I forget - literally -...everything, (that's why I often "double post"...) don't worry... I will add the pics here... wanted to do more with my page anyway... was started in 2012, then "neglected" by me for a longer period, cause of sickness... but I'll be back... at least a bit:
http://www.ventura-audio.de/
now I think, i might go in the garden for some minutes, firstofall... now that I'm reading about it!

I just took a look at the site, it is a tidy bit of cyber-space. I get what you say about adding some new things but as someone who has "attempted"(albeit a rather lack-luster attempt) to get even a page of my own space up & running, I can applaud even your current progress. Funny thing is, I know html, am a fair hand at java and got some C programming experience so one would think it would be easy for me. Well it was, I got pages, hyperlinks bookmarks..up until I had to put stuff in/on(?) the page. At which point I just ran out of ideas. I guess I was so intent on "building" my own page that I never considered what I'd put on it or how "sustainable that particular theme would be so in the end I just left it. And.. You will not believe this.. I can't even remember that website's name (._.)
Ps: not a programmer or web designer or anything just happened to have dabbled in it whilst on my quest to find a hobby

I kinda lost track of what you guys are talking about which was actually about making websites (am I right?) well I know some html stuff, if I can still remember (using a notepad. Anyways, you need to pay something/someone so you're website can be put up)

If I'm correct, you can type this in notepad (but when you save the file, put '.html' in it, you can thank my I.T class for this):

type paragraph here

got some C programming experience so one would think it would be easy for me. Well it was, I got pages, hyperlinks bookmarks..up until I had to put stuff in/on(?) the page. At which point I just ran out of ideas.

do you know "fast C code?", well... i have to send you an mail... later...

I guess I was so intent on "building" my own page that I never considered what I'd put on it or how "sustainable that particular theme would be so in the end I just left it. And.. You will not believe this.. I can't even remember that website's name (._.)

sure I believe... I had a page back in 1999, it is still "out there" --> I FORGOT THE PASS :-(

Nevermind the html I typed 'cause you can't see the codes because of the text here but you can always try using web hosts or something to make you're website or whatever you guys where saying, like "wix . com" which I think is the best website host I used before (I'm not into it anymore I guess)

And Bushido-san, I have a temptation to sing the chorus of "It's a small world after all" in japanese version as I memorized it from music class xD

"Seka-i wa se-ma-i
Seka-i wa maru-i
Seka-i wa o-na-ji
Tada-hi-tot-su"

Hahaha! Eat that music class! XD

Oh well, it's nice talking about other things. I do want this forum a little bit more... lively

Anyways, you need to pay something/someone so you're website can be put updepends... there are also free subdomain hosters... maybe with advertisement, don't know...
I can only just afford the domain/webspace 25€/year... after all, there are more expensive hobbies... not sure about being off-topic, stop me, if so... I'm too "old" for learning these programming "languages"... I can get along with teh nvu html editor... we will see...
see you tonight...

I do want this forum a little bit more... livelySure... I see what I can do :-)

Hahaha,
Nice to see you have some interest in the language. Unfortunately I don't get to speak much of the language anymore so my english is MUCH better than it & also never took it as a subject so it's quite.. Colloquial by japanese standards, a pity really.
Annywho....

As for liveliness..
Well y'know I guess even amongst us alexithymics there are those who are more conversationally inclined. So I don't really expect EVERYBODY to come to the party, but I mean I try to follow & run with conversations because it's not that don't want to talk just that I don't always want to be unsure if what I'm saying makes sense & so forth.

Okay.. I just forgot the rest of what this post was meant to say so yeaah, let's just keep it at that.

Oh wait. (SnowWhite) Fast C?
Do you mean a fast compiler,
Whether I can program fast or are you refering to C++?

I only know "Arigato"... at least one (quite important, however) word!

Hahaha,
That's good.
You may be seen to be a bit formal,
But on the whole people will think you are a grateful & therefore modest & such.
Which is good.

I know right? Bushido I'm gonna call you "Bushido-sempai" since you're older than me (I'm still 14 xD ) and I do know some honorifics since I watch anime and read manga (but in my language, "manga" means "mango" lol)

Anyways, I don't care anymore if we're off-topic. I do have a question though,

When you have Alexi (unless it's not primary) does you're body reacts too? I already mentioned that (usually when secondary Alexi kicks in) I feel like a robot slash robot with my eyes slightly wide xd
What about you guys? D you only feel empty? is that all? 'cause certainly there's more >:I

What kind of website are you making by the way?

Lol, noo I can't be called upper-class man, I'm never called senpai anywhere outside the dojo lol I probably wouldn't be able to deal with it.
Most of the time, since my friends don't speak japanese, I'm just called by name but those of them who feel they muuust add an honorific (usually for dramatic effect) will stick to -san or -kun.
As for alexi & my body.
My body is always on it's own plane of existence but karate really does help me to connect with it every now & again,
So unless you count the odd feeling of being disconnected (especially if don't go to karate) I don't think there's any other thing acting on my body.
And sometimes if I really feel just tense or too loose I'll do a kata, air punch or do some kicks.

I'm still 14Hell.. I am old... multiply by 2,286...

What kind of website are you making by the way?Good question, what KIND... put "Ventura Audio" in google... mostly the Anti-LoudnessWar-project... some little piece of "philosophy" also... time will tell... some day this "beauty" shall be seen as it is... LOL

Time is a bitch

Over the last year, each single day was like a year for me ... an evil year ...

down in hell - I can tell - wish you well - tiny shell - ... :-)

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

18 - probably - or 81 ...

Hahaha.
Young at heart or at mind?

young at heart - unsure at mind - old at body ...

you?

Just young & youthful.
Although may be less youthfully inclined to do silly & carefree youthful things.
I'd much rather stay at home & read a book than go to a party. Unless I'd promised or I'm really keen on seeing someone. So some people may consider me "boring" or whatever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Te11UaHOHMQ

well... well... well... Hi Elizabeth! :-)

I'd much rather stay at home & read a book than go to a party. Unless I'd promised or I'm really keen on seeing someone. "Do what's good for you", someone quite nice told me... bout 1 1/2 years ago.... I DIDN'T GET IT!

Someone I used to know love(d/s) Lana Del Rey's music.
Okay in all fairness I still know the person. Just not quite in the same way..

On the topic of reading.. I like reading, just don't do it as much as I should. Are you much of a reader SnowWhite?.. Question holds for you too Elita

Someone I used to know love(d/s) Lana Del Rey's music.
Okay in all fairness I still know the person. Just not quite in the same way.

yes, I know, she sees to be quite an extraordinary person... as far as I dare to "know" (after all, I know nothing at all, right?) let's put it that way: hermusicismysoul ;-) she is - in my strange sense of the world - also a "Schneewittchen" haha ... I got to know some of these, along my wayward life...


readingSadly I don't read so much as I did in former times... It is hard to concentrate now for me... quite often... the last book I read was this one about the two dying youngsters... whatwasthename?? aerm... YES... "The fault in our stars" (John Green)... read it in english, much better than the german translation...

Well if you decide to read a bit, do look out for 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami. Another one that is worth a page is The devotion of suspect X by Keigo Higashino. Uhm maybe The solitude of prime numbers by Paolo Giordano as well...
But anyway I'm not sure why I'm going on a list of reccomendations after you just stated you don't read so often of late..

don't worry... The solitude of prime numbers sounds >interesting<, somehow... I will have a look on that one, you know, I try hard to "become the way I was before", this'd also include: reading more!

in return I'd recommend my favourite book "The Gunslinger" (Stephen King)... is nice... very "inspiring" for me... sometimes I quote from that one...

(rest of post missing?!) ...sounds interesting to me...

you know, I try hard to "become the way I was before", this'd also include: reading more...

in return I can recommend you my favourite book "The Gunslinger" (Stephen King). This one was very "inspiring" for me... sometimes I quote from that one, e.g. "the world has moved on"...

see you... (btw. as I am typing "see you"... It is I think NOT being loved what many people want, yet being "seen"... byebye)

The Gunslinger - Stephen King..
I'll see when I can obtain a copy.
Thanks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r21Qza6vadU

well... I have an 2% odd chance SnowWhite error rate :-), yet she might like her, too ... when you go back in time a lot, haha, till the nineties when Snow was still 14, you will find a story very interesting ;-)

"I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
I am rotten to my core if they're to be believed"

(At least now I understood the point of "Do what you is good for you", I ....aerhm... -- would not have postet like that, some months ago. now I ... "just don't care anymore")

Hi Shirl! (happy day, I'm two weeks late, forgive...)

She did like it, we even had an awkward discussion & stuff lol.

"see"... I "knew" it... "Nicolana Teslana" - godless fairy of the universe...

she might also like the Gunslinger Book, who knows... she might also like - let me think a bit...

...she might also like the poetry thread, might also like the one I posted on the YT unmastering video "Lara del Mar", might also like Siouxsie Sioux and the Walkabouts... might also like the movie "Pi" and it's soundtrack...
who knows...

might also think our "destiny" is interwoven somehow... might also think there must be some reason, I didn't set an end to this nightmare and kill myself...

there is some "spirit" or "flair" arising from, or accompany-ing the depression... whch either can be "seen" / "understood" or NOT, depends...

might also like the "picture" of "the little mermaid" or "Snow White"... she might also think "our universe is but a single atom at the top of a single blade of grass"... but that's TOO FAR off... isn't it... ?

...until Elita is back... -- HellSnowWhatYou'reTalkingAbout ;-)A strange person I am ... admittedly - I will go for a while to my other forum... see you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raUcMun-l0M

Well I don't know about far off, but what I do know is that I've got conversation themes for ages.. Lol.

Whyyyy the last :( ?

just joking... a second... she might like The Cure and maybe Falco

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuQLnwMEQQc

I like Falco a lot, .... might translate this one, .... when it came out, I still was a kid myself... it was - a SCANDAL here...

more?

have a look in poetry thread... this makes "my eyes turn wet"

well... a last one... I like Rammstein for their "powerful" and moving music, they are not nazi-"philosophy" though some people think so . they just don't get it - these are poets actually - ... referring to many famous poets and also fairy tales like Schneewittchen (Sonne) ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jjT6bJtI80

also like "Spieluhr" about a buried kid, "keine Lust", obviously about depression and dying... "Nebel" something similar...

these are extremely "polarizing" artists...


more tomorrow...

You definitely a conversationalist of sorts. Where do you get all these themes & topics!
Your contribution to this forum as a whole & this thread in particular is greatly appreciated even if I do have to say so myself. :P
Can't wait to see what you come up with tomorrow lol.

Where do you get all these themes & topics! I am old, that's all Bushido, old and been sick through so many years... (it is actually tomorrow, by now, see?)

I met some strange people in my wayward life and always been "outsider" since I can think... I experienced some very bad events in my life that - probably even more "got me in" ... but in general I was "always that way"...

Lady Gaga would put it "Baby I was born this way" . . . I like Lady Gaga, also...

the depression/amnesia stole everything from me - every thing... it is very hard to put in words, it was a feeling of total helplessness, and ... im-prisoned-ness... emptiness... it was like the world fallling apart in billions of little pieces, into "still images"... when I wtched cars driving by... it looked like a movie with 3 or 4 fps... not like a "motion"...

I have something special "triggering" me - scares the shit out of me actually... is it when I look at "leaves or trees swinging in the wind"... well... it is way better now, yet sometimes it comes back... like some "evil thing" getting hold of me and suffocating me...

I'll have a smoke... see you later.... alligator

like all "meaning" has disappered... I DID NOT understand what people were talking to me, forgetting the sentences instantly... I could not read a single line in a book ... forgot it instantly the very moment I was reading it... like being "blind" for everything, I saw people, chairs, streets, yet all were just empti and without meaning, only THINGS... the thoughts were gone as fast as they tried to appear, somewhere I read "every thought like a snowflake in the wind"...
somehow it was also affecting me physically, being "stoned" "immovable" and "stopping my heart"...

it still is that way, ... so thats the reason for me being quite impulsive... yet as I said, is much better, so I can actually be "awake and writing in forums" and coping with my daily life... often it's hard for me to be out in town e.g. in places where many people are... especially... but I will get faster and faster I hope, and return to kind of a version I was before, you bet, I will... I have to go on for some more years, my kids are still very young...

So long, Snow

you may also read Aldous Huxley - The doors of perception

it is not only on drugs, yet also mechanisms of human perception of senses... and ways these are influenced by stimuli of different kind, a lot of "psychological/philosophical/...misstheword" "focuses" maybe.... you will get to know why the "belief" in angels and demons was quite common in the middle ages, for example...

this is definitely a must read for "crazy" persons... yes, I will read that one again, before I flip over to Bushidos "prime numbers", lets start right now, I CANT SLEEP.... :-(

Heart has calmed a bit... that's good!

Snow was busy... -- electro track of the day is added... 06.09.2014

http://www.ventura-audio.de/elektro.html

ha, I thought that being a funny idea... I like electronic music, is almost always calming and relieving for my mind... this last one is from the time of my youth also, back then we used to be out in the fields and woods quite often... which is a good thing in fact... meet your friends as long as you can, I lost that some time, during and after university... I miss that in fact, though I go out with the kids from time to time, yet this is not the same! ...

Bushido didn't stop me from posting, so on it goes...

As you can imagine I was wondering about the whole life "a bit", what sense it makes... and so on...

for me it is either - wait and wait until finally "the nothing" will eat me up.... OR - try to "touch" other people somehow... knowwhatImean? not the thing you youngsters might think LOL, ;-) more "reaching out with creativity"...
and also to drive as fast as I can... which actually (THANKS!) - my drivers capabilities fully returned - is a tiny bit of "fun" and "distraction" for me, I will only have to find the connector for mp3player to radio, so I can put in some "Soma", "Westbam" and the likes.... ;-)

It's getting late, I'll try again to sleep a bit

Hmm..Ever considered making a blog.
Like your own blog..

..
..
..

I'd follow that blog..

Woah, woah. I've been gone for like what? Two days? And now I see that this thread progressed that far!

And Bushido-sempai.. Oooh, you know martial arts so I'll still call you Bushido-sempai, Bushido-SEMPAI!!

GAAH! PLEASE NOTICE ME SEMPAI!! *laughs on floor, rolling* lmao. That "notice me sempai" has been a trend before and I can't believe I actually said this to a real japanese person, oh I can only imagine how Bushido-sempai would react *laughs*
I'm just teasing you, SEMPAI ≥﹏≤

And yes, I love reading BUT these days, I prefer reading online. I dont usually plan the story first 'cause my mind would easily plan that out for me in an instant.

I'm secretly practicing how to sing in my school building (we have a lot of buildings and I go to what we call a "Sports Conplex" with basketball courts on the ground floor and our cafateria is also there and it has a 4th floor, which is basically looked old and abandoned) I found a messy and old room (which had a broken door knob!) so I can get in easily. And when I say 'abandoned' the room has lots of cobwebs and papers and magazines litered the place.

Have you heard of Evanesence? They're a band I liked, And I want to try to hit that higher note but sometimes I wonder if I could quit from practicing singing which is kinda ironic since the musics in my head has become a blur so I have to listen to the songs again and I would observe how low or high Amy's voice (the lead singer) got every now and then and I noticed that she also put angry-like or sad-like emotions / tone in her voice as she sings and I'm also trying to get that right. Hopefully my young voice would improve

Lol.. I'm far from "real" Japanese.
You'll have to go up my family tree to find a real Japanese.
I haven't even been to Japan.
Yet..

Anyway, why do you practice in secret?

Well.... it's because I think my voice sucks and I want to improve it myself. I don't want to be those kind of people who think they're good and end up being off-tune -_-|| and I dont even like cameras because:

- I find it weird that people repeatedly take pics of themselves. Imagine how I feel so awkward, borrowing someone's phone and end up looking at their gallery - full of themselves

- I think I'm ugly

I never really tried singing but I want to - or not since I keep doubting if I should return to that room and keep practicing or not 'cause I may never really have a talent for singing (and I prefer rock and sad songs anyway)



And I'm socially awkward ^-^

Well, trust me you're not as socially awkward as you think..
I mean,
I practically opted for homeschooling due to my lack of social "connectivity" and of course the fact that I'm REALLY bad at picking up peoples hidden messages or stuff, so inter-personal interaction is rather quite draining for me since I constantly have to think what this person is trying to say do they understand what I'm saying.. And then it's like (in my mind): you're talking to me, why are you talking to me.. Is that all, what did you mean, did I say something wrong. No I didn't mean that etc..
So at the end of the day I'd feel messed up since there'd be all these self-imposed questions

Oh and since I generally keep a straight face I'm always wondering why are they smiling, what did that expression mean,
Eyes are darting.. Why.

Not like I'm interested in knowing really, I just don't want to be left out and end up knit-picking on any little gesture or expression to try and ensure that I'm keeping up with the general flow of the conversation

It's quite ironic how you want to be heard but most of the time, no one pays you any attention but if you dont want attention, attention comes to you.

It doesn't mean I'm alone, means that I'm "lonely" or a "loner"

Sometimes, I swear, the conversations they talk about are 'silly' (I don't want to say 'stupid')

Lol Bushido-sempai, sometimes you make me laugh (and most of the time I dont know why!)

I grew up in a country filled with the always-smilling people and if you dont smile most of the time, they'll instantly think there's something wrong with you so I always have to smile and go on with the conversation.

I don't even know if I'm actually happy or feel this good feeling when I laugh. Like that time where I laugh at my classmate's joke (it WAS funny) but I noticed that deep inside, I don't feel the joy or I may only feel it a little but I'll have a good time if I dont think much of it.

I guess instictively laughing, smiling or fake a facial expression has become a habit so I end up 'reacting' in an instant which makes me look normal that way. However, having Alexi doesn't mean that I can't get pissed or annoyed. And I already mentioned that I have bi-polar right? Well despite the fact that I may not feel anything most of the time, Alexi doesn't really help my bi-polarness.

Anyways, when bi-polar happens, I don't feel the pressure inside of me but in my head instead, sometimes I get so pressured that my mind can't think straight so I end up stomping my foot, yell etc

You know, I wonder sometimes what this all means. Being alexithymic.
Because on the most part it doesn't "impare" me much. Just makes a whole lot more things more mental than I hear they should be.
And I mean it's no problem, for now.
But I wonder what would happen should the time come when my mind can no longer process all this stuff as quickly and later still (if I should live long) when it can no longer at all..
Then I'll be..
Me, with all else taken away bar emptiness.
Wonder how people will like that version..

Well.... to me, feeling nothing especially having a blank mind is called 'stupid' in my opinion 'cause I still forget and tend not to listen, ya know? And I dont want my grades even worser than it isnow... *cough*

I wonder what my EQ is at.
Maybe I should take an online test if there is one..

Grades, I never was one for chasing them
Well it's easy for me to say since I'm an A to A+ student ... I'll get the odd B+ when I'm particularly lazy.
But then I'll be annoyed.

Pity I'm not smart enough to care more

Hmm..Ever considered making a blog.
Like your own blog..


I'd follow that blog..

well, I don't know what to think about the idea of "being followed".... what would I put there, anyway? I ..... every thing I wanted to say, I already said..... !


you horses

nana... dare to call me a horse :-) "donkey", please, if it's possible :-) I very much like the idea of "seeing" you sing! ....when it comes to me, you would not want to her me sing, hehe, so I keep my mouth shut in this regard... all thbet, the two of you!

But I wonder what would happen should the time come when my mind can no longer process all this stuff as quickly and later still (if I should live long) when it can no longer at all..
Then I'll be..


There still might be some good years ahead, Bushido-san! ...

Another one for your friend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfZc4APK_ns

I didn't now that until yesterday... it "sums up" nicely... btw as you know I'm a few years older than her, so... I'm glad she did not kill herself at 27... "smart" enough that girl is... Jim Morisson was not the wisest guy, after all ;-)


btw. excuse my misspelling, its the keyboard here making problems... :-/

- I find it weird that people repeatedly take pics of themselves. Imagine how I feel so awkward, borrowing someone's phone and end up looking at their gallery - full of themselves

must be some kind of extreme excentricity, hmm?? LOL, don't give a damn, girl...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcbAibPA2yY


- I think I'm ugly

when I could give you something it would be the possibility to see yoursel like other people see you ... goitgirl?

have long days and pleasant nights! Snow

You say bye too much.!!
Lol,
Now it feels like I'm always being left or you're always leaving :(

Well.... it's because I think my voice sucks and I want to improve it myself. I don't want to be those

you're sure you are "still 14" ? Sing, and save the world! ... ...

alone a lonely


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBz8iXdddqY


HA! (see again post above!)
Snow

so Elita, midnight has passed already, elektro track of the day is added, this one extra for YOU ;-)

Snow in posting mood..... livelier now? lively enough? good I didn't kill myself, you young diamonds.... ,,,,

Because on the most part it doesn't "impare" me much. Just makes a whole lot more things more mental than I hear they should be.


You know, a "mental sickness" ONLY should be "cured" if you are either probably harming other peole OR possibly harming other people.... as long as it it not that way "everything is fine (Gordon)" LOL!

Hello (instead of byebye...) Awake?

sorry I posted nonsense LOL (my brain, sorry)... I meant "or possibly harming YOURSELF..."

I suppose I am since I'm not sleeping,
I don't think I could harm anyone,
Unless of course I was fighting,
Which would be a disgrace since the best way to win a war is to prevent one..
Oh, just a typing error & I figured as much

Which would be a disgrace since the best way to win a war is to prevent one..

I would not come up with wise words like that, maybe YOU should start the BLOG thing...

!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwUGSYDKUxU

well well...

another one (this time for mere amusement ;-))


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgll-XTqcS4

what you are studying, btw? just curious?

I am currently finishing my Cambridge O Level.
Considering doing my A levels in one year (half year for AS & half year for A)
But, I'll leave that decision for after my exams.

Lol... thanks and I think my sister loves metallica (hmm... never been one to open links 'cause I'm lazy xD )

As for singing, I think I should try practicing sad songs to practice my love pitch and choir songs to practice my high pitch voice 'cause I want to focus both my low and high pitch rather than focusing on one kind of pitch and maybe I'll still practice my voice for rock music (but maybe not much 'cause I should go easy on my voice since it's still young, it's kinda obvious that my voice is still young to get that perfect pitch for rock music) but that's kinda hard focusing only in sad and choir songs since majority of the music I listen to is evanesence.

Okay, here's the songs I'm trying to get the pitch and tones right:

For choir: Lies by Evanesence

For high pitch: My Heart is broken by Evanesence

For high and Low pitch: Lithium by Evanesence

For Low pitch: Hello by Evanesence

Lol... I told you its mostly Evanesence (and if you have time, you can listen to it in youtube) 'cause I'm kinda into... goth. No not the ripped, tattered clothing, tatoos, hair dyes, piercings etc (I'm not into those kind of things in goth culture)

never been one to open links 'cause I'm lazy xD ) LOL... it wouldn't be that much of an effort, right? ;-)

EvanescenceKnow them, of course... I bought this album with "My Immortal"...



I'm kinda into... goth. No not the ripped, tattered clothing, tatoos, hair dyes, piercings etc (I'm not into I know what what you mean...see you later

Hey SnowWhite, I also wanted to practice dancing in case I give up in singing (I have a hoarse voice now, ruined because of a cough and plehm) not those kinds of dances like boring, balette or whatever kind of dances. I want the ones that seem energetic, a bit challenging and has some 'oomph!' in it like:

Come back home (dance practice) by 2ne1 (thEtty're a korean but they're song seems so groovey and awesome especially their dance moves)
https://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=0RUvealeXZ0

And this one seem to have a little 'oomph!' :

BO$$ by Fifth Harmony (dance tutorial)
https://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=9bmtNZgncpw

However I dont get my hopes up

Now my heart is broken again *starts listening to 'My heart is broken' by Evanesence*

Hi Elita...

My best friend, she is a singer , too... was also sick for a longer period... lately started singing again, that's nice to hear for me :-)

You guys are so "mean".
All this talk about singing & dancing..
When you both "know" can do neither.

Unless you count Waltzing :D

* Both "know" I can do neither.

I can do neither, also!

Yeah. I guess I'm just gonna quit with this singing and dancing nonesense. It's sucks being 14 especially with a damn lot of family members, all you recieve most of the time is cr-ao so I can't even download a damn tutorial video on my cheap phone (like seriously, cheap) and I dont think I can even get the moves right 'cause I'm not used to those things *sigh* what am I to do now? Too much stress and drama in one day

Oh come on Elita, you can't just quuit. Besides I need to see you on tv then you can be a one-hit wonder lol .
Alternatively you can just be a really great dancer then all your friends will want to go to parties with you.. Provided you you don't like show em up lol

Yeah. I guess I'm just gonna quit with this singing and dancing nonesense. It's sucks being 14

of course you don't!

otherwise I quit posting ;-) almost 100 posts... nice thread ... see you later!

Even if I do. I cant download that video tutorial on my phone or any videos. Damn you youtube, you should make this easy for me

Anyways, enough about me. What about you guys?

What about you guys? What do you mean? I can't dance or sing, hehe... you do't wanna hear me sing "Where the wild roses grow"... it's actually one of the few songs I tried, cause IT's so sonore... I can get the deep notes, just like Nick Cave LOL ROFL ;-)

"The boys wanna fight and the girls are happy to dance all night" klick https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZ9UWy0OtCs

Iwanted to write you on computers yetserday, but I was so tired, so devastatingly tired... will do it later...girl

I cant download that video tutorial on my phone or any videos.I can probably download it and mail it to you, right? ;-) aaah, sometimes I wish I could be 17 again... sometimes, well, er, not... yet I was so much more "awake" back then... well well Snow, don't cry over spilled milk :-) :-)

Links , please? ;-)

Cambridge O level

http://www.cie.org.uk/programmes-and-qualifications/cambridge-secondary-2/cambridge-o-level/

aha, I see... google helped me out ;-) btw. computers

very useful they are, but, yes Elita, they can also be... well "harmful"

we live in a very "virtual" world nowadays, and it will become even more like this... yet this does not fit into the "nature" of our brains and our natural biological way of life

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_sapiens

see? we are basically the same we were some 50.000 years ago, meant to live in small groups out in the wild, MOVING and so on... it is important for our bodies to do so... blabla Snow...

believe me I'm a biologist ;-) hehe

so what did I want to say? hard question... it might be a better idea for you to sing and dance than "doing something else" ...
I want to hear that songs, you bet...
bad singers probably won't say "uuuh, I'm such a bad singer, better I quit with it"... I won't get fooled by that...

have a nice day you young virtual couple...

yet there are many advantages of "the net", when I was your age I was often "chatting" via mailboxes, as the internet back then was not the thing it is today, you an imagine... bought first line modem in 1994 ;-)

there is a comedian over here in Germany, actually a Doctor med.

whenever I don't feel well I ask myself, when did I eat the last time? when did I sleep the last time and with who? when was I out in the air the last time?

(Dr. Eckart von Hirschhausen)

hehe... funny guy, isn't he?

Hehe... I tried dancing (hip-hop mixed with jazz) and damn the moves are too fast and you have to move you're body like you're sexy slash hot (I'm thin kid and no matter how much I eat, I'm still thin. So thin that I look malnourished which I found out was called "skinny genes") like body roll or those thing similar to moving you stomach and body up and down or whatever you call that. But I still might have a chance in singing and I'm sure I'm improving, trying to hit the notes right but I'm still gonna try pratice a LITTLE bit of those damn hot moves 'cause I like the exercise and I want my body to get used to it (just in case that I MIGHT still have a chance in the dance industry) except there's a janitor that has a 99% chance that he heard me singing on the 4th floor 'cause he was cleaning on the next room... eyes darting... I really hope that my voice improve that much.

Anyways, what do you guys do? Like what do you do in the inteenet? Any hobbues? Anything? There MUST be something *eyes goes wide*

I'm thin kid and no matter how much I eat, I'm still thin. So thin that I look malnourished which I found out was called "skinny genes"

me too

Like what do you do in the inteenet? Any hobbues? Anything? There MUST be something *eyes goes wide*

you have NO IDEA ;-) didn't you click the link? as for my part, I'm just saving the audio world ;-)

I'll have a smoke... (earned that one!) see you later!

Hobbies?
Like don't you have to be commited to those...
No sorry, I could never stay into something long enough to do it any justice.
So I just have a taste of things & then move along. 90% of the time anyway.

The exception being something can stay in for longer than 3 weeks.
Then I'll be "hooked".
But if I stop.. Then it takes a whole re-motivation effort to get myself back to the swing of things

I dont understand... I think I may have mood swings like crying on every single little thing like the bullies, my phone, the internet etc or maybe I'm trying to force myself to cry just 'cause I feel like it?

I don't cry.

But when I do,
I'm inconsolable.
Until I stop,
Be it one minute or 15 minutes later.

So, really I can't say about you,
But when I cry,
You will know what crying is

copy and paste to poetry thread!

i like you two strange youngsters, you SEE?

... Bushido-san, sorry

But when I cry,
You will know what crying is

says he cant write...

(Elita) says she can't sing

well well ... you two can not fool me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEbnJ9uG9dk

you? :-)

I will post here UNTIL you both ADMIT you can... hoho... you are still young, better you aerm... "get it" now... it took me 32 years...

and believe me, you don't wanna have years like that last ones... well well... Bushido: (poetry) -- shorten itng it to the essentials...

Elita: don't think, just sing... and dance...


see you tonight!

Haha.
No relation.

What?
Those .. Lines?

I can translate it for you... or you learn a little german ;-)

wanna say something, but no-one listens to you
you give up
and you're lost in the flood
like a house built too near the river

shut up, everyone who tells me so, it goes up, is a liar

to speak the truth,
the place where I sleep is still on the ground

I don't have to go to Hollywood,
drinking champagne with all them stars

have to take the bus, to get some food from the discount

just because I'm rapping I can buy food, though
it'S not enough, to run away from here

I'm writing lines and get them in the beat,
while the kids are desperatly dealing on the street


see the truth, that my partner in the song,
mirrors street kids, being his mentor

think about what they say to you
is it nonsense or is it true?

yes man, I#m talking shit, when I have to eat shit the whole day
and yes, they wanna get out of here, set an end to this all

yet as it seem, man, they miss the last bus from here...

sorry
I#M sorry
if you mean, if you mean
I have turned them what they are
they are your children....


and so on :-)

I can't wait to hear her (Elita) sing, you? :-)

What does Sempai mean?

I "can" write,
Just not very well..

Truce?

Traditionally it means upperclass-man.
But it encompasses any person who is considered (be it by you or society) to be of a higher rank, status, etc. than you.

says he cant write...

(Elita) says she can't sing

well well ... you two can not fool me!

Aaw SnowWhite, you make me blush... lmao...

What about this? :

I stand alone in the darkness
Drench in the rain
With no one to talk to
No one to be with
Because ever step I take is wrong for you
Then I ask myself, 'what have I done?'
And I hear myself saying, 'everything'
Then I went silent

I made a similar thing like that before but I forgot some of what it says so here it is

I stand alone in the darkness
Drench in the rain
With no one to talk to
No one to be with
Because ever step I take is wrong for you
Then I ask myself, 'what have I done?'
And I hear myself saying, 'everything'
Then I went silent

this kills me... SURE you are 14? I could not even thoroughly READ back by then ;-)

I'm a busy girl

good!

HellElitaCopyAndPasteToPoetryThread!

and don't forget to click links :-) two more electro tracks added for you (good for dancing the first one of them!)

well you know... if I were half my age.... LOL

then you'd be my wonderwall:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfph4a5OluU


hehehehe... for sure ;-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0qIG-h4rIE
(Evanescence - My Heart Is Broken)

I listened to this... You know Nine Inch Nails, which is actually Trent Reznor...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei6cmxqDPmk

you should play this one LOUD, really loud (my old papercone drivers are "happy to do so" every time...) ...
it is kind of... well, this was the only song I could here sometimes, when (wontputthatonforum ;-)) let's say: "when there was nothing left"

so, good night gal

hehe

one of the best songs ever . . .

I stand alone in the darkness
Drench in the rain
With no one to talk to
No one to be with
Because ever step I take is wrong for you
Then I ask myself, 'what have I done?'
And I hear myself saying, 'everything'
Then I went silent

this one could NOT be shorter, it hits hard, has impact and so on... get a grip on that gal ;-)

Yes, I will post this on the poetry thread. I made this 'cause I'm suweecidal

this kills me... SURE you are 14? I could not even thoroughly READ back by then ;-)

Say what? I even know formal or old english but the last time I did that on the internet, they accused me of using google translate....

I'm a busy girl


good!

Not always

See Bushido-Sempai,

Now SnowWhite-san calls you sempai, sempai ^-^


sometimes I'm funny, hmm?

Sometimes you do sound funny

Good Morning Girl !


I made this 'cause I'm suweecidal
a) well, who is not? ;-)


Say what? I even know formal or old english but the last time I did that on the internet, they accused me of using google translate....
b) in your life you will get to know loads of stupid people, you see?

c) conclusion of a) and b) you better not kill yourself, anyway it might NOT work, you can aerhm, believe me, I know what I'm talking about . . .

d) got it?

a) google "Ray Kurzweil's Cybernetic Poet"

b) "feed" it with my poems

c) see what happens ;-) ;-)

d) Have a nice day as good as you can, you both, hard times ahead ...
Snow

b) in your life you will get to know loads of stupid people, you see?

c) conclusion of a) and b) you better not kill yourself, anyway it might NOT work, you can aerhm, believe me, I know what I'm talking about . . .

d) got it?

I got it. But I knew that I might not succeed anyway because a) I know I'll fail and end up in the hospital and explain why I did it
And
b) That's why I prefer if someone kills me or if I have an accident (at least I won't need to explain why I want to kill myself.

And I don't know the female version of "sempai" but since I am YOUNGER than you guys, you can call me "Elita-chan" take note of the word "chan"

got itgood... try to see it that way, you might end up even more disabled than you are right now, not able to move and not able to kill yourself anymore...

you see, I know all of them "pain/desperation/...unspeakable things", so I can understand anyone who does actually set an end to this...

yet one should think thoroughly about it ;-)

That's why I prefer if someone kills me or if I have an accident Do NOT read on unless understand dark humour: Well... I could drive you over with the car... null problemo LOL

Where is Bushido-sempai?

Don't know... I was wondering where the both of you are... well... I will write for you girl, so you have something for the oncoming 15 years... wait a second, "I'll be back" to quote the Terminator... ;-)

Hallo Mädchen - unbekannt
fünf vor zwölf - gegen die Wand
eins von Millionen - Bier in der Hand
wir sehen uns
im Sternen-Schlittchen,
vom Schneewittchen,
Sahne-Schnittchen


good one? ;-)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5kJF7n99vc

I think it is actually VERY good :-) I just noticed you only joined forum EIGHT days ago... you are a "busy" poster, good thing

schedule I somehow can understand that, though it's not the same for me - I cant obey to schedules very good, yet i HAVE TO KEEP MYSELF busy! knowwhatImean, nottogetmadandsoon... had a good working day today, "meeting" someone who also likes them fractals...

did you get my message?

smokers break (old SnowWhites are allowed, actually! It doesn't matter in their case :-))

which makes me look like a philosophyyou bet I wanna hear THAT, since you are the age you are... I can hardly remember, the time (not at all, to be true)... I only remember I had some "interesting therories" when I was 15 or 16... sorry, don't wanna annoy you, it's just to... "keep old engine runnin" :-)

Hallo Mädchen - unbekannt
fünf vor zwölf - gegen die Wand
eins von Millionen - Bier in der Hand
wir sehen uns
im Sternen-Schlittchen,
vom Schneewittchen,
Sahne-Schnittchen

I google translated that:

Hey girl - unknown
eleven fifty-five - against the wall
one of millions - beer in hand
see you
in the stars-Schlittchen,
from Snow White,
Cream sandwiches

did you get my message?

Yes but I don't know what to think of it or what to say about it (..)


Here's a translated song in english (since it's from my language) which I tried to translate myself since there's no translation or at least something like this:

Ang isip mo'y unting-unti nawawala, nalilito
Ng tulad mo'y parang usok
Unting-unting naglalaho

Your mind is slowly disappearing, getting confused
People like you are like smoke
Slowly, gradually fading

you know, sometimes I'm so sick of it all... if I could choose again there's one thing I'd change... I love them, and so on, as good as I can, sure... yet I would not want to have kids, if I could choose again...

I google translated that:

Hey girl - unknown
eleven fifty-five - against the wall
one of millions - beer in hand
see you
in the stars-Schlittchen, (little sledge)
from Snow White,
Cream sandwiche(s)

google is doing quite a nice job, no wonder they "rule the world"

Yes but I don't know what to think of it or what to say about it (..)
ok, good :-)


Your mind is slowly disappearing, getting confused
People like you are like smoke
Slowly, gradually fading
it is the way it is...
the only real comfort you will get, is the comfort from yourself... no one will ever understand this all (I mean really understand) ... so... you'll have to find a way to like yourself... or NOT

no more "wise" words from Snow, I know this is all basically easy, anyway I ... struggle to get it myself...

here:

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know(Metallica)

He hasn't left, he merely observes..& he likes the evolution

the evolution

yes yes, the evolution is a strange thing, isn't it... I can comfort you, your brain is "meant" to be the way it is... simple as this... you just have to learn coping with that...

so long!

To think... I probably wouldn't have "met" you if not for this forum..And of course your willingness to join this forum, post on this forum, partake in this particular thread, reply to the post, to continue doing so.
And me doing the same

Hmmm..

of course I am here... whereelse should I be... I have two additional adopted kids now... "Hell"... noproblemforsnow

whenever you are feeling "strange" click https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5kJF7n99vc (electro track for today) makes you smile, doesnt it? see my comment?

(I played this so loud today, the whole street was wondering "whats wrong here"??? LOL !) hehehe...


I begin to like this YouTube stuff... would only someone have told me before!! I am so oldfashioned ...

See ... i was allowed to play in their music video, ....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjj-LGxWt6E


like it? killertrack ... hear "her" sing... I like that "little mermaid" and also "Snow White" theme a lot... I don't know just WHY??? (many of my poems refer to that...)

my sickness made me be "like a kid" afterall... in many ways...

LOL, just wrote two poems... --- "server fail" in forum "new post answering mode"... now they are lost forever ;-) see you tomorrow!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIpqcoqjH0c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXUtu59hMzc

nice one, hmm? "Truce"? I'm lazy today...

I know I failed 4 or most likely 5 subjects..... I know it's my fault... I just became empathetic... I just don't care...... and I forget too.... today's card day so there's a big chance that my parents will take away my stuff..... Like that time I didn't make a business plan for L.E 'cause I forgot and my group mates didn't remind me either (I'm not blaming anyone, just putting some points to strengthen my side) so my teacher said, "[name] I don't want to see you in summer class"

And I thought, "Don't worry teacher, you won't see me next year"


My username is Elita, I am 14 years old. I once had a nice life.... in a way. My dad used to be a drunkard and abusive and would always send me and my sisters locked in the bathroom for hours especially when we don't sleep when we where told so. My mother would use a belt, a hanger, a slipper, anything she see to hit us when we disappoint her or if we don't sleep when we where told so. We where tutored in school and me and my sisters weren't smart nor do we have the greatest mind to remember as we kept forgetting so our tutor would hit us whenever she's pissed. My mom and tutor would pinch and twist our ear until our ears are swollen red for days.

I used to love hugs and act childish... my parents and tutor don't do that now... but.... I just turned cold. Whenever I'm angry or crying, I have to hold it in until my head hurts and heats up like an oven. I was pressured. Now I don't care if I die, my parents die, I could care less if the whole world rots too. Having a boyfriend never crossed my mind nor am I interested in it. Now I'm hardly interested in love or hugs until slowly, gradually, my heart is secretly stone cold. I'm still pressured and we're still blamed for a lot of things that we didn't do and all the while, I have to shut my mouth because even if I 'protrest' they will think I'm "talking back."

I just wish I'm dead or killed, now I'm crying as I type this. I hardly care for my education, I hardly care for love, I don't care if everyone dies and I thought, "Why am I still alive? Why bother living when less people care for me? I'm always forgotten in school and friends just come and go and I found out I have social anxiety and feelings hurts. I think I'm ugly and most especially, stupid while forgetting isn't an excuse...


Besides, isn't it my fault?

I will write you PM, Elita...

got the message?

Besides, isn't it my fault?

if you don't answer me, I'll never have the chance to become what I shall become, you are the reason I'm still here, after all... gotit? ifnotreadbackinthreadorask - so HellAnswerElita... see you

I have never been good at words (some weeks ago I wouldnt be even have been able to type that lines), the only thing I can tell you is, when you go it will be all lost, the thing I saw, it will be all in vain... you will leave a scar in my tiny heart... yet: do whats good for you, it was the only real advice I ever got, so I'll pass that one on to you...

i dont speak that language, yet i know some words... (...)

for you Elita

es que te querer
es in las estrellas
es in el sol y mar
es in tu

good morning! woke without wanting to . . . budsiness as usual... tough day ahead

you ALWAYS forget to click links... this is not so nice:

www.ventura-audio.de/ldr/xD.png

Umm... Snow... I just found out that I ran out of load.... um...

dont mind... i'll be back in half an hour or so... I have some whatsthename? load left!

Lol Snow... wth just happened? And I thought you hung up on me and I haven't tried chatting on g-mail before... you're pretty much the only person outside my house that I talk to on a really long time 'cause the only contacts I have is my mother .__.

And Snow.... no offence.. are you a boy? 0_0

haha, that tina call cost me about 10€, I won't call you again girl... :-) Yet it was worth every cent... Of course I am a "boy", I am 32, father of two kids...

you have to read thorougly... good to see you in here, girl

was your sister also in the background? I heard some kids I think, yet connection was so bad I ... well didn't hear very much at all...

Yeah... those where my annoying sisters. I share a room with them -,-

You're accent though.... it sounds.. intruging 0_0

*ahem* maybe you shouldn't try calling me 'cause you know.... my sisters will think I have a boyfriend *facepalm* especially on Monday 'cause my mom didn't get my card yet so I might be less active online on Mon 'cause my mom will most likely confiscate my phone

I call myself SnowWhite since I like the "image"/"picture" of it... see? The theme... also "the little mermaid"... these are... well dont know... connecting to me in some strange way... I used to have more "unfriendly" (male) nicks before... hehe...

when you are becoming a better researcher, you will check the imprint on my page and see that I am a "boy"... btw:

Patti Smith - Boy cried wolf, know that one?

my sisters will think I have a boyfriendLOL my wife might get the idea I'm having a lover ... LOL ROFL, ...

I took a nice car ride today, through the rain, ESP off - of course... I should've become a race driver ;-)

I'll put on some coffee, I had a hard night, cause of you ;-) don't worry, just kidding, kid

I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say, without fear of prejudice..
That this entire forum has not been a greater success but in the case of these three individuals

Ps: I've been so busy it seems I missed out on a lot

you are sleeping too much Bushido-san!

this world is not what it's supposed to be - in MANY ways... every one who NOT sees that is far from "wise"...

every one who denies that -just fuck off... in my sense of things...

yet you only have that one life, I'm too far a "bad ass cold hearted bitch scientist" to "know" so...
so you'll have to get along with that, with your tiny life, your tiny heart, your tiny soul (that no one ever can take away)

That this entire forum has not been a greater success but in the case of these three individuals

and if old "gunslinger" follow Admin will not take this forum down some bad day, it will live on forever...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-egkdbW1Ers

SnowWhite (real bearded) passes on virtual beer to Bushido and Elita who scratches virtual non existant beard... think you got it now... if not... then NOT :-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35e61H2v4HQ

http://www.ventura-audio.de/elektro.html

just watch the movie . . . a "must see" imho

Ooh. Slammed my finger in the door now the entire fingernail is blueish black & it feels like I've got a second heart- in my finger.. (It's throbbing that hard)

Pain aside.
I need to find a (new) hobby ..

Suggestions?

Cycling? Stalking little girls? Photography? Speaker Building? Boxing? Unmastering? Writing? Talking to Someone? Making things out of pieces of wood you find out in nature? Drawing Pictures? Terragen-ing?


enough? Not so many ideas tonight...

passes on virtual beer to Bushido and Elita who scratches virtual non existant beard...

Oh dear, I do not plan to drink those things because of my father and older sister (who is a drunkard herself) in fact I made a rule not to drink beer but similar drinks like wine (so far, all the wine I tasted, tastes aweful) 'cause its not beer. Besides there's other delicious drinks out there

Stalking little girls?

Do that and the next thing you know is my phone on your face *cracks knuckles*

Unmastering?

Unmastering? What's that, practicing on failing a hobby? *sarcasm*


Terragen-ing?

A what? Is there even such a thing?

hey you are funny - good thing !

I just wanted to try to sleep (4am here) yet now I WON'T, you bet! ;-)


I was just talking about suggestions for BUSHIDO, of course!

I do not plan to drink those things because of my father and older sisterI very well understand that, I can't help it anyway... AD don't work for me so... I know I'm addicted, at least... did I tell you about the nice car ride already? You would have liked that... pretty sure...

I'm going to smoke (o I'm not that good whatssteword? for you kids... smoking, drinkin, HELL, forgive...)

SnowWhite says: Do Not Ever Start!

most of the time I forget you are so young (because of the way you both write), then it makes me worry even more... :-(

How can you be that way... ? When I was about 17... there was something like... I forgot what I wanted to say...

LOL

nevermind... another thing I wanted to tell you... ... I don't find the right words... sorry...

let me put it that way: old Snow is happy that you are here




:-) you are -a lonely- but -a nice a lonely- the world is needing you... it's just that you don't know it yet... I'll write you later, try to sleep an hour or two...

btw: you will have to throw your phone QUITE far to hit me :-)

"body count": 1"LOL" 1"happy" 2":-)" !!

NOW I KNOW IT.... I am proud of you, that's what I wanted to say, strange as it may sound...

for sister: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqkGPPwddCU (Metallica should concentrate on making covers! they're nice...)

http://www.hifi-forum.de/index.php?action=browseT&forum_id=7&thread=2602&postID=198#198

always check links thorougly ....

in some cases it can be of great value to be "crazy"...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7a8mWITa38

see?

I'm sort of having my first day at school.. Lol

then you better read thoroughly ;-) more ahead ...

Bushido-sempai tell us whatever is happening in school. I'm bored.



I'm currently and slowly dreading when and how my mom (and most likely my dad) sees my grades. Goodbye world!




And this is the best thing I've said to myself. I should make it my signature someday:
"Don't worry, teacher. You won't see me next year."

you should start learning photoshopping, should not be too hard for fourteen year olds, I could by then ;-)

Hi girl! I'll only PN you this... yes... one moment ...

I don't know this photoshop you speak of nor do I know how to use it. I hate pictures, editting pictures especially if it's a pic of me. I prefer anime pics but other than that? No

sometimes I hate this being without edit function...
hard for me, since I hit "send" too fast...

I'm bored. then read 3 PNs from SnowWhite I sent you... will push the boredom away... byebye

I prefer anime pics but other than that? Nomaybe you're not as clever as I thought ;-) I did not mean pictures... I was editing my grades for applications all the time :-) :-) :-)

old Homo sapiens neanderthalensis rule : if you have tool -- use tool (!) (lesson #2 for Bushido)

now read PNs, and don't forget to open links!

well earned smokers break, yeah :-)

ah, phone ringing disturbed my break... If I would have known it is not you I would not have bothered ;-) see you later

Well I was with somw other homeschooled chums. Even made a friend (I think) And asked someone if they were goin to attend the dinner that we'll be having

sounds good...

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTscXHrzC8dmzI-Lo0hHPaoPWpJ6tWMAXyLjnMvC0CON_6kxl80eA

chum?


why do you 2 have to be so young? makes me sad, to see that pain in early life... Elita... let Bushido write some more to you, I'm too much in nonsense mode I guess...

I sit now, looking at these paintings on the wall. They could mean anything, they could also mean nothing at all. But inside there's always that lingering question: why.

I do not know the answer, yet I'm not troubled by the fact. After all, the same could be said about this post

another one please, Bushido, I didn't quite get it...

- - it is hard to only write and read and from that only aerm, taking conclusions!

I will have to do some writing tonight I guess...

I do not know the answer, yet I'm not troubled by the fact.this is good! I sent a message to Elita, goodnight, Bushido!

Here's a song which can be poetry.. you guess it, it's still Evanescence:

Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello, I'm you're mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello

If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qBTGzkViD4

(some one knew that . . . )

Was der Welt verloren geht
Was dir an einem Morgen fehlt
Ist vorhanden

All die Dinge, die man vermißt
Und im Lauf der Zeit vergißt
Sie warten auf dich

An einem Ort, von dem ich weiß
Er liegt fern jeder Eitelkeit
Und ich führe dich dorthin

Zwischen den Gezeiten
Im Angesicht der Weiten
Folge mir ins Licht

Wenn Gedanken schweigen
Laß dich einfach treiben
Folge mir ins Licht

Kein wahrer Wert ist nur real
Kein Verlust nur rational
Wunder dich nicht

Man verliert schnell den Verstand
Nur bleibt das zu oft unerkannt
Doch ich führe dich zu ihm

Zwischen den Gezeiten
Im Angesicht der Weiten
Folge mir ins Licht
Ängste spürst du nicht

Wenn Gedanken schweigen
Laß dich einfach treiben
Folge mir ins Licht
Ängste spürst du nicht

Du kennst Vernunft schon lang nicht mehr
Doch sie ist noch Teil von dir
Und ich führe dich dorthin

Zwischen den Gezeiten
Im Angesicht der Weiten
Folge mir ins Licht
Ängste spürst du nicht

Wenn Gedanken schweigen
Laß dich einfach treiben
Folge mir ins Licht
Ängste spürst du nicht

(Melotron - Folge mir ins Licht)


goodmorninggirl ;-)

The Evanescence one is good

I'll have a smoke (Snow says: DON'T YOU EVER START ;-))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOPE9z-a9xY&index=2&list=RD9qBTGzkViD4

another one... know what? I have two pairs of headphones lieing around here, am TOO lazy for putting them up on ebay... I'll send them to you ;-)

"Will das Glück nach seinem Sinn, Dir was Gutes schenken, sage Dank und nimm es hin, ohne viel Bedenken" ... byebye Snow

good one, hmm,? you know what : you two are GOOD ONES, dont you ever believe something else... beliebve old SnowWhiteMistress . . .

Here's a little more about me...

One time in my classrom... a certain girl came towards me. I didn't really mind her as I don't feel like talking and just zone in and out as she talks while I focus in and out of my slightly fuzzy imagination.

"You know... I want to tell you something.... I keep forgetting you're there I mean you seem to... blend in the crowd, no offense" the girl said, trying not to offend me.

I merely looked at her and back to staring at nothing as I continue to zone in and out. She had no idea how took that a compliment and just nodded at her to show that I am "listening."

A few mins later. We formed our lines and the same girl was in front of me so she turned to me and tried to make a conversation.

"Are you lonely?" she asked.

"Yes" I replied but I was doubting if I do.

"Are you used to being lonely?" she asked again.

"Yes" I replied again but since I was still doubting, "I guess" I quuckly added.

"Then can I be you're friend?" she asked.

I shrugged, "I guess" I replied and quickly added, "depends if you want." since I still doubted about 'friends' and I don't want to force her.

She suddenly gave me a hug. I instictively hugged her back....

End of story for lil' Elita-chan

good story, shorten it -- paste to poetry thread, I need a little nap... I am tire like a snake after eating a horse ;-)

after all; I must be some crazy bitch... posting like that in a forum without edit function, two clicks away from my real name for anyone with brains... yet I just don't care anymore, I reached the end of the road I cry it out: world, see them two kids ;-)

Nice pic snow xD
Bushido-sempai, are you dead? If you are, can I take your money from your will?

And Snow-san told me to ask permission from him if I want to die. You should do the same too :-)

Bushido-sempai, are you dead? If you are, can I take your money from your will? He is sleeping TOO much, already told him... we'll do 50/50

I just wanted you to know, that baby you're the best

Bushido-semapi! Wake-up abd make me a decaf coffee!!!!!
Or let's have an anime marathon with ssnacks and drinks along with snow and then I'll call you kawaii! Trololol "kawaii"

That means "cute" btw snow

And Snow-san told me to ask permission from him if I want to die. You should do the same too :-)sure, I "obey" to you... you can sing at my funeral :-)

yes: "WAKE UP"!

...

hmm... outofwords? ... ... ... sometimes - the world is strange... I'll better go to sleep...

goodnight you two

Since you guys are becoming bor- I mean bored and silent.. here's a story that happened just recently.

I do not like people looking at my computer and reading it so I don't like people near me and I do not feel like socializing (and I have a sour mouth (i think that's what you call it in english) because I ate too much chocolate) and I don't feel the need to socialize anyways.

There's this guy I'm trying to avoid because he (not to make him feel bad but..) talks too much and I think he wastes my time so when he stood up and said that he would go out for awhile (we where in the library) I was thinking if I should ditch him and move to another computer far away with a slightly different hairstyle so he won't see me among the crowd. At first I thought it would be mean but then my other side told me that I won't have my own time on the computer alone without other eyes looking at me if I don't ditch him. So in the end I ditch him and did as planned.


But he saw me a little while until a few minutes later I kindly dismissed him. Now I have my own time alone but now.... lunch time is almost over.... :(

Oh and snow-san. I don't really feel like talking, chatting etc. I don't even want to be close to a person on the internet when they will just soon ditch me or betray me or whatevs

no problem girl... good morning! (it's morning over here, well....) I had a shit night, I will have a smoke, "don't you ever start!"

Bushido ... he has said everything he wanted to say...

Elita sour mouth I have a sour mouth since I smoke too much, drink too much coffee... don't mind, theres 20% of population having sour mouth ;-)

sometimes I just hate this brain... I was at PET scan last autumn, for my memory problems (doctor sent me "just to be sure", you know what they said? you are healthy like a child LOL

I kindly dismissed him How can I do such? ...Just in case, I need to know ;-)

Elita: "trustno1"... the world is an evil place, yeah... yet there are some nice persons out there... I might send you another pic, if you don't mind

you see... I like you although you are being quite mean to me ;-) hehe... maybe even because... who knows... (rest PM)

Bushido: Silence Is Golden http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQ70SRQIRHw

Elita: 1.) don't forget to open link 2.) Mrs. SnowWhite says: homework, pupil: meet girl from first story...

bybye

Ah, I wish I can stop posting my garbage life on the internet. Why can't I just shut up like Bushido-sempai? (no offense my kawaii sempai trololol) do me a favor Bushido-sempai and be like the "great thinkerer" 'cause I think it suits you xD

Anyways, I might go here to talk about stuff and rant. Like a certain subject in school seems to want to learn about our life or relate cr-p to this and that and as an untrustful person, I get irked by it.

And the talk of "love" annoys me (more like my stomach does) I'm not really interested in boys and I don't get this boyfriend, girlfriend stuff. Don't get the wrong idea but I'm not interested in any genders either. I guess I'm so busy with my life that I never really thought much about it or its probably because I don't care.

No offense to the parents out there (I think) but I don't like my parents so much that I keep daydreaming that I don't care if they die or I die especially my mean big brother or I'll just let them die *sigh* and then there's the case of birthdays.... I don't like birthdays. How much the people around you suddenly turned 'friendly' or 'loving' is disgusting, it's annoying and it's aweful. I'd rather want them to be who they where a few days ago than acting like a sh-t or being a hypocrite. I must have sound so cold but *shrugs* you can say it's part of me now

Ah, I wish I can stop posting my garbage life on the internet. you are not alone ... LOL

Anyways, I might go here to talk about stuff and rant. Like a certain subject in school seems to want to learn about our life or relate cr-p to this and that and as an untrustful person, I get irked by it.

And the talk of "love" annoys me (more like my stomach does) I'm not really interested in boys and I don't get this boyfriend, girlfriend stuff. Don't get the wrong idea but I'm not interested in any genders either. I guess I'm so busy with my life that I never really thought much about it or its probably because I don't care.

No offense to the parents out there (I think) but I don't like my parents so much that I keep daydreaming that I don't care if they die or I die especially my mean big brother or I'll just let them die *sigh* and then there's the case of birthdays.... I don't like birthdays. How much the people around you suddenly turned 'friendly' or 'loving' is disgusting, it's annoying and it's aweful. I'd rather want them to be who they where a few days ago than acting like a sh-t or being a hypocrite. I must have sound so cold but *shrugs* you can say it's part of me now

none of this is wrong ... ;-)

I know what I'm talking of... I'll write you later... my kids...

I have good news & bad news.
The good news is I have taken some advice & gone further than my doorstep to meet people.
The bad news is human interaction is time & energy consuming..

Good morning sempai! ≥﹏≤

I'll be back with another story/news. Snow-san is absent for now :-\

no (s)he's not :-)

yes yes, MORE! *greed ...

Hi Girl! Slept well? busy day today for me... sent "evil" email to "Metropolis Mastering" ;-) hehehe...

*sigh

http://www.hifi-forum.de/index.php?action=browseT&forum_id=51&thread=2836&postID=83#83

nice, hmm? *evillaughter

post #68 also interesting... I am such a cutie, ain't I? LOL... Elita, this is what happens when old men can't shut up in forum . . . O NOW I REMEMBER what I wanted to tell you! ...

Bushido: sure, it is VERY exhausting, yet someday it will aerm "tables will turn" and you might even get energy out of it... who knows? it's like learning a new language...



NowSilentAndWaitingForElitasStory, yes...

Even I'm listening & waiting

we want more, we want more, we want more of you ... hehe

good morning btw. fell asleep around 4 while watching "Snow White & The Huntsman", you two should throw an eye at it... it's a cute movie . . . guess

sent Elita some pics tonight Bushido-san (not what YOU think of ;-)... I'll send you link, I know you are being greedy... holding back you impatience behind the silence ... LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXf7qvWu860

ah, youtube can be a nice thing... admittedly... :-)

I'm the second most patient person you've come across thus far

maybe...
who'd be the first? for sure NOT ME... I am the most impatient person on the planet ... lol, ... got the pics? you kids? :-)

Uhm, I dunno.
I just thought it would be overly presumptious to say I was the first given that you've met many people in your life.

Pictures?

Elita is having dinner (good...)
will be a winner
richer and thinner

once but a shimmer
silvery glimmer
but a tiny spark
lost in the dark
but a tiny one
sings her song

on with her show
all through the snow

make better language out of it, paste to poetry thread...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hy9Ko_xiIw


listen to this one as reward...

(poem was actually lost (server error) might have changed now a bit... ;-)

http://www.hifi-forum.de/index.php?action=browseT&forum_id=8&thread=7037&postID=2628#2628

"show me what you leave behind", cold hearted bitch...

Aha I see

...

feel free to join there... most understand / speak english also... the good thing in german forums: you can write literally everything you want (almost) ...

bitch - fuck - shit - motherf... LOL, good for Snow! see? nothing bad happening, except Snow smiling :-)

LOL, I was WRONG :-) nice filter, admin...

o no, I was RIGHT! just missed page 9 ... what a nice morning... :-) I can be "charming" :-)

what matters most is:

the "image" / the "dream" / the "desire" ... that you put up in heads of "consumers" for your "product" ...

end of marketing lesson...

how's school, actually? Elita's a busy girl ... you?

What don't tell me I'm a trend setter

What don't tell me I'm a trend setter trendsetter for what ? something I should know about ? I'm curious... It's actually good being curious!

if it doesn't work the nice way, it has to be done the HARD way...

actually I'm quite a polite person, in general... but the message to Metropolis can't be put nice, since it then "would not work"... ;-) I already mailed them 2 years ago...

well enough of that... I'm gonna cook some food for the kids "A clean house is a sign for a wasted life"

youngsters... do you think ever someone else will post in this thread? LOL... Oh I'm tired, but in a good way today...

Lol. Sorry guys for the long wait. And it's nice to see Bushido-sempai and SnowWhite-san chatting again ^_^ Some "bro time" wouldn't hurt xD

I don't really have any good story today, unless I'll rant or complain instead. The same ol' same ol' routine.

I was in a tutorial center. Tutorial was finished a few hours ago. Now I'm standing here, trying to fit in the small shelter, away from the heavy downpour of rain.

Suddenly, I forgot that my phone was on 'silent' and not on 'vibrate'mode so when I checked my phone. I cursed under my breath as I saw 6 missed calls displayed on my phone.

I felt screwed. I wasn't the type to explain stuff to my parents or any adults - usually. Why bother? They might not understand or they might get the wrong idea anyway. So I knew that I was screwed.

I waited a few minutes before recaiving a message from my mother. It said that we have to wait 20 minutes because of the flood. My mother hated small cars and unfortunately we have to replace our big car with a small one. And a small car plus a flood in the streets might shut it's engines off.

So I waiting what felt like hours. Actually 3hours passed before my mom finally fetched us - in a taxi.


There's your story >_<
I'm a writer in a few certain websites that's why I made the story in this style and I hope Bushido-sempai didn't forget half the story already ●︿●

Good night
Sleep tight
Don't let the dead bite
Wrap a rope around your head
And watch as you take flight

- Dead bite by Hollywood Undead

I "saw" it all girl, call me a mad one, I DON'T MIND, I'm over the edge already... but: I "saw" it all...

so long, dont you forget to check links, I was quite busy today ;-)

How could he forget after this long wait..
He remembers it well..
And besides he has a notable memory, stunted only by a general lack of interest..

Can I visit you?.. (On other sites of course..)

^_^what's that one? a cat? I think it might resemble a cat... I have some questions... I'll keep them for tonight ;-)


meanwhile...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbOUtjO8B1w


...time to get down... this one will ... "put up inspiration"... (the words fade from my mind too quick, sorry)

Can I visit you?.. can you see it girl? to quote myself (which is a bad habit, but I can't help it!) well... I can

I'm gonna have a smoke (dont you ever start... haha)

www.ventura-audio.de/ldr/Elita_Bushido.png

Lol.
What is Snow implying.

Smoking. I promised someone I would never

Smoking. I promised someone I would never good for you :-) I never make promises in some regards... now I'll check mails and so on...

no news are good news fine... now you both can concentrate on your homework... I'll wait...

...I'll split your homework up...

Bushido: explain graphs

Elita: draw in your own graphs (pick two colours... hehe)

the best idea I had today!! smoking time ;-9

just one last thing (I'd probably forget that by tonight, my memory... so:) I once had a friend who, for some reason, called me a robot - and in return, for some reason, I called her a robot

this is approx. 16 years ago

And theeen?

the And theeen? I will tell you when homework is done ;-)

now I'll have a nice bottle of wine... since it was a "successful" day for oldSnow... hoheo... I'm not the best "role model" after all, but... who cares...

And theeen? it might come up with some more stuff... but I have to kind of "sort" my ideas, which is very hard for me these days... yes...

Lol.
What is Snow implying. what do you mean? implying... I am just reading... I used to be a "woken up" reader... yet this is long ago... if there'd anything I'd imply it would be: you are already arising interest in people Elita-chan, for what is the thing you yourself cannot see :D (!) not more ;-) hehe

^_^ is it a cat? Bushido? I will google it up...


Bushido: it is not the silence being golden, but the "showing", the "laying down the silence"...finally

Elita: google is your friend

Snow your homework is killin me, since I don't know where to draw the resources for answering from.

Buut "knowing you" I wouldn't be surprised if it was a 'loudness over time' graph. The graph showing amplitude & frequency. Reflecting dynamic compression perhaps, I don't know.

Anyway that's my guess!!

Give me some more to work with.. References at least

'loudness over time' graph nono wrong direction... I don't want to spoil for Elita... so I'll mail it to you... one second!

I always forget how young you 2 R ... sorry ... sorry

hey you two kids... forget about that homework stuff...
I'm just - a stupid... just forget it...

oh sometimes I wish this all would just end, would not wake up tomorrow, yet it always was that way... you know I tried to... and I failed...

If there'd be anything I could change, I would not want to have (my) kids... you know I love them and all... but if I could choose I would want to be alone... I would also like there would be someone else "looking for" you two, there is not...

I just want to disappear... I... don't want to be that kind of - not be able to express and interact - one... I can make (kind of childish) art maybe... well... yet what does that can give me? I don't want to be a kid, I was that way too long... 32 years a kid... I told Elita there is nothing wrong about it generally, and yes: generally nothing is wrong about it, but... ...

well whatever, we'll see each other tomorrow... "business as usual", kids...



dont forget to check links!

www.ventura-audio.de/ldr/Elita_Bushido.png
Wha-? What is this? I'm still a second year highschool student and it depends on our school system about these kind an of stuff. I really don't know about this although I find it funny that you and I can call you Mrs Snow. I might call you Snow-sensei xD

^_^[/quote.]
What... it's a smiley face...?

Can I visit you?.. (On other sites of course..)
Now... that's a story for another day.

Yo morning peeps xD

forget about the homework... we are not in school... after all


Hi Girl, good to see you in here, actually... I'll have a smoke and be right back, ok? 5 Minutes...

then I might have a question (or two...)

I really don't know about this although I find it funny that you and I can call you Mrs Snow. I might call you Snow-sensei xD

yes... just forget about it, for my own shortcomings, I always forget you both are so young... forgive...

I'm only used to "chatting" to old men, see?

you can call me SnowWhite-sensai, if you wish, sure... LOL would be an honor... I'll listen to some music now... to come down a bit...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ewq73ADlEg

Here's another forum I go to:

http://dreammoods.com/dreamforum/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=134973

See you there.

I just found out I have a "Broken Heart Syndrome" too. Probably since I was 13. And I do not want to communicat, PM etc to anyone of you. No, not 'cause you are a "burden" but I do not want any ties to anyone especially on the internet. Goodbye

I just found out I have a "Broken Heart Syndrome" too. Probably since I was 13. And I do not want to communicat, PM etc to anyone of you. No, not 'cause you are a "burden" but I do not want any ties to anyone especially on the internet. Goodbye

o girl ... (I didn't check in this forum...)

do whatever is good for you !

see you in another life when we both are cats . . .

Snow