03.04.2014 by chem
Hello everyone
I am new to this forum. I have never been one to openly talk about myself on the internet so please bear with me while I try to step out of my comfort zone. I am almost at my wit's end and am in need of some advice. Here is a brief synopsis of myself. I am a female in my early 30's on the ASPD tree. I feel almost certain I have alexithymia. My trouble is with my significant other. She says I am unreadable and lack emotions. I try to tell her I do have emotions but I can never explain myself to her. This has become a big problem. She seems to think I do not care or love her because she does not see the emotions in me. Our relationship is now in its seventh year and I would like it to continue but it seems she is always unhappy with me. She complains that I cannot empathize with her. The only strong emotion I have displayed since the start of this relationship is anger. When I am angry I can blow up. I rarely cry and that also bothers her. My brother committed suicide four months ago to this day and I do cry when I think of him. Other than that I just do not cry. I try to tell her that I love her. I do whatever I can (in my own ways, the only ways I know how) to show her I love her. It just does not seem like enough for her. We have been on the verge of splitting up because she always wants me to talk about my emotions and if I do not talk about them or if I do not show emotions she just assumes I do not care. I do care and I want our relationship to work. I do not like feeling pressured to be emotive. I am not a talker to begin with. What can I do or what can I say to get her to understand? I would do anything for her but I just cannot talk about or describe my emotions the way she wishes I would. At this point in time I will gladly listen to any advice. Any ideas or suggestions are much welcomed. Thank you all for your time and I hope you all have a stress free day.