Topic: Other people's feelings

English Alexithymia Forum > Questions and Answers

Other people's feelings
19.06.2020 by asterix

Hi. I'm pretty new here, I just learned about alexithymia and I'm trying to analyze it properly to see whether it's something that fits me. My question is: do you (plural) have difficulty realizing what people feel? I don't. I'm the "mom" friend; I'm good with words and I've always been observant, which makes me give good advice. However, I feel like it's more because of social training. For example, recently my friend's best friend started dating her ex-boyfriend who has hurt her in the past, and didn't tell her about it. Logically, I know she can feel upset/hurt/betrayed and like her friend has failed her. I talked her through it and helped her deal with the situation. Personally though, I feel nothing when I think about that. Like, no "oh, I'd feel bad too". It's more like, I know from social experiences she could feel bad about it and I know that the logical advice should be "talk to her", because talking about your feelings is expected. I used to think I'm an empathetic person, but the more I learn about detachment and alexithymia, the more I realize it's not me feeling what the person is feeling, it's more of a logical explanation put into words.
How is it for you?

22.06.2020 by User25660N61

Wow. I feel like you described it right on for me.

26.06.2020 by User70762L74

I totally relate, it's normal for me to help people around me with there problems, I hear and advice them. My therapist always told me that I was empathetic bc I choose to fix other people's problems rather than my own, but I never sense it as being empathetic. Now that I read this I have more clarity over what I normally do.

16.08.2020 by JulieDegraw

yes. I can relate to this. You described perfectly what i haven't been able to understand about myself.

Login