Is it emotional blindness or mild psychopathy?
05.05.2020 by Radu_Nicolaev_MalaxaTL;DR: My emotions are very toned down, I don’t feel much on a daily basis, but I can read emotions very well in other people and know how to respons to them. I am also not bothered by this, as I can make rational decisions without emotions interfering.
Hi there. I’ve been reffered to this community by my girlfriend after a fight. Basically I told her a “funny story” that just now, years later, after she pointed it out, I realise was a mistake and that I did both something stupid and something wrong that could have harmed other people.
And while I agree and understand what my mistake was, and I have also matured since then and would not do it again, I cannot feel any guilt or remorse. I’m not proud either. And basically that’s my problem. At most times I tend to feel nothing, or generally speaking my emotions are very toned down.
For instance I had a flatmate last year who would usually ask me every now and then “How are you?”, and I was always like “meh”. When she would follow up with “What does that mean? Are you happy? Are you sad?” I always replied “I’m just neutral”, because that’s honestly how I felt. It was just a regular day where nothing out of the ordinary happened so I was just neutral, seemed very normal to me. But she just couldn’t wrap her head around the idea of being neutral.
Up untill this point I guess I could be characterised as suffering (or being blessed) with emotional blindness. I did the test btw, got a 102. Where I am different, though, is that I can understand emotions. I can read them with high accuracy in other people, know what they mean and how to respond to them and am generally a social person. I can comfort people very well without having the faintest idea how it feels to be that sad, but just by knowing what to say to make “people who are sad” happier.
I also don’t really care about emotions and see my condition as an advantage, as I can make the most rational decision in most cases and not be overwhelmed by emotions.
Thank you for reading and am looking forward to reading you stories and comparing them to mine!
Same here, for me it is like I am so much in conversation with myself and things to think about that I don't get to care about others emotions. So I am not really good at reading others since I never even tried to learn it. But I am starting to think maybe I need to do that.
I guess, first I need to stop the chatter in my mind and look outside. Since my childhood, I was labeled as smart and even we had a neighbor that she used to say one day I will be a scientist and it is funny that I became one. That's why rational thinking it's the only thing I know how to do.
I have a lot of good friends but never needed a best friend. I don't call back anyone, not even my family and my good friends. Actually right now the reason I am looking into the value of emotions is that today I failed a friend of mine.
He calls me maybe 4 times a year and I have never called him back. He is the one who always calls and wants to meet for a coffee or something. One year after I came to US for my PhD, we became roommates for one only year, 7 years ago, and now he is getting married and he asked me to be his best man. Wow me. I didn't get it, I am not that kinda friend that someone picks me as a best man. And for today I planned to take him and his friend out for camping. And I failed big time.
First, I picked a campsite next to a lake so we can camp there the night. But there were two lakes with the same name and 2 hours apart and when he sent me the address to confirm, I didn't check to see that he got the wrong one and they ended up in the wrong one. Finally we got to the campsite around 10 pm and started the fire and before we unpack, someone came and asked us to leave since I didn't make a reservation. We tried another one but didn't find any empty site.
We came back to his house so we will do the camping the next day.
But he was not angry at all. We even went for a walk and he was really chill. I wouldn't be angry too but that's who I am, i don't get upset. I don't get angry. I am always neutral as you put it nicely.
Thanks for your post, it made me write something like this that I would have never done it.
I am going to ask my friend tomorrow why he picked me and maybe I will give a toast at his wedding about how cool and nice person he is.
