Could I have been misdiagnosed with ASD?
26.03.2020 by User62513K96I'm new to this forum. I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome several years ago and for years, I never bought into it. I always believed it was just my personality. I took that diagnosis as a personal attack, an attack on me and my existance. It was another way for the world to punish for existing. They gave a name for my personality and called it a disability. My mom got me a bus pass for disabled users and cut it up then threw it away, that is how much I was against it. I knew I faced different problems than normal people but I never believed once I was autistic. When I look at what autistic people do, it's always things like weird compulsive rituals, self centredness, total obsession over certain subjects and overrall weirdness. The only thing I had in common with them was the social difficulties and being with people. I do not like being with people that much and I would absolutely not want to be close to other people. It will make on edge too much with all that mirroring and having to pretend I'm amused by whatever worthless nonsense they spout. I just want to be normal but they accuse me of being too serious but I don't care about them. I think this Alexithmia is a much more descriptive and accurate idea of what I go through. It's not like I could easily describe to a doctor about these things becauz they're ignorant and don't understand. I was stuck, I don't know what the f*** I am. It didn't feel like any sort of treatment would work. I was too normal to relate to people with autism but too different to relate to normal people. Was I autistic, was I normal? I DIDNT' KNOW. Being in this wierd inbetween is suffering becauz there's no way to explain it to doctors unless Alexithmia was more known. It is said that alexithymia overlaps with autism spectrum disordersIs so is Alexithmia just a lighter form of autism or is it closer to a personality? What should I do If I belive I have been misdiagnosed? Should I demand another test? I don't want this name staining my medical records any longer.
I'm sensing a lot of autism hate. Please keep in mind that autism is a spectrum and wherever you or anyone else falls on it, we are all still people. The biggest possible issue I see here is if the diagnosis actually helps or hinders you practically. There is no reason to be ashamed. If you feel that you have been misdiagnosed a second opinion shouldn't hurt. Make sure to share your concerns about your last diagnosis and try to see how the criteria for ASD do apply to you. From what you have written, alexithymia doesn't directly explain not wanting to be around people (though it can happen). I would also say that alexithymia is a much more flexible a description than ASD. So whatever the cause of social issues, ASD or not, alexithymia can easily fit over it if there are issues describing/having emotions.
Either way, if you have ASD and alexithymia or just ASD or just alexithymia you are the way that you are. The most apt name for your condition is your given name. We are all born with or develop our particular human condition that we call life. Don't feel like you need to personally identify with the condition even if you keep the diagnosis. The ASD diagnosis can give doctors a head start with getting to know you and how to help. Though I understand that you think that it can get in the way.
Please don't see ASD as something shameful in yourself or others. What is important is living a fulfilling life, something I and many others are trying to figure out. So whatever unique problems you face, know that trying to have a good life (what that means to you) is a shared experience.
Sincerely,
Someone that has not been diagnosed or identifies as having ASD but does identify with alexithymia.
02.04.2020 by User62513K96
Thank you Fish. I didn't describe my problems well. It's more about my reactions when I speak to people. I don't express emotions ever so I'm left feeling awkward when I'm just neutral to everything people say and do. I don't think I'm wrong for not being reactive but I know they're judging me.
I'm sorry you feel that way. Even if people are judging you, they don't have a right to. Not for being a little different. For those close to you it might help to explain things to them; it doesn't matter much what people other than them think.
