Self Worth
10.03.2013 by SteMoMy sense of self worth has been questioned a number of times because people close to me notice that I react more to how others are treated than to how I am. It doesn't phase me in the least if another person treats me poorly. This is because I don't really notice an emotional reaction to it. From my perspective, it's as if the person's opinion of me doesn't matter. Unless the person is responsible for deciding if I get fired or a raise, I don't see how their feelings or treatment of me have any real bearing on my life. I just avoid them if they treat me poorly, and then the problem is solved.
When other people are treated poorly, however, I have a tendency to react both immediately and vocally. The strong sense of injustice that I feel for other people, and not for myself has been called a self-esteem issues by two of my exes. To be honest, I have no idea if they're right or not, although I tend to disagree. I'm curious if anybody else has experienced the same thing. Wouldn't someone with low self esteem take things like criticism and mistreatment to heart? That's my assumption, but I suppose I could be wrong. Would you consider this alexithymia related, or a separate issue?
i never thought of it that way
28.04.2013 by nikoant
but it sounds familiar.i defended a friend in a very stupid conflict, where she didnt even dare to speak up but i did it for her. because i saw how others mistreated her. no one understood where i came from in this situation and it was very awkward. if i have been mistreated myself, or gotten talked about in a bad way i rarely notice. and if someone tells me directly ill just think; ok, sure. because i cannot understand what i am supposed to do if someone is mean to me. i usually observe others in situations where i dont know how to react, but this is the one thing i havent figured out.
some of my friends have reacted to it because i sound cocky. and careless. and maybe i do things they wouldnt because i dont feel the same shame or gut feeling of responsibility as they would do in the same situation. so for me, they would say im overly confident, not insecure. to be honest i believe i am neither, i dont have the emotions to pull me up nor bring me down like that.
In my Experiece
14.11.2013 by Lie
it happened to me as well, i have a friend who is very predictable in a way and i have seen her sad and cry a couple of times. i honestly don't know what to do in that situation so i would call my other friends.
In other words, i would stand up and speak up against people who in a way mistreats my friends because i don't want to be in a moment where she is crying on my shoulder and all i could do is call our common friends because i don't get her, nor do i know what to do.
my friends said i became a "daddy" figure to our group where i would be the one who ends up confronting people who mistreats my friends because i stay passive even if things backfires at me. my friends said that it was that act that assures them that i care for them even if i am not sure about it myself.
i could care less what people think nor do to me, so i have no problem of standing up for others, even if people think it is none of my business.
According to my friends, i appear over confident because i stand up for others while i remain unfazed by other people's mistreatment. my friends said it was as if am blatantly saying that no matter what people do to me, i am invincible.
if you are wondering what my friends are like. one of them is, emotional and seems like a puzzle to me, while the other is like a translator between me and my other friend. both of them are what other people call spineless. i keep them because they teach and try to help me comprehend things, and they usually "color" my actions and give it a different meaning.
This is exactly how I am.
16.11.2013 by Delos6706
*strong language coming through*
If it were possible for me to give any less of a fuck about what someone says and or thinks about me, I'd be giving negative fucks, lol. Don't get me wrong, there are some instances where something said about me or someone's mistreatment of me will bother me, but they're incredibly rare, only coming about when it's something a close friend or family member said/did, but even then I don't hang on it and usually stop caring the next day or so. Now, despite the fact that I'm almost immune to the negative words, opinions, and bad treatment from others, I'm incredibly quick to jump to people's defense, be they friends, family, or strangers. Why do I do it? I've got no idea. I think it's because I'm aware of how little I care about people's opinions towards me, but also aware of how that's not a "normal" feeling to have, and how most everyone else does care what's said about them or done to them, whatever.
According to my friends, i appear over confident because i stand up for others while i remain unfazed by other people's mistreatment. my friends said it was as if am blatantly saying that no matter what people do to me, i am invincible.
I get told that I'm confident all the time, and while I've never been told I'm over confident, from the outside looking in, I now see that that's probably how I come off. Too bad I don't give a damn, haha. It's not confidence, it's not bravado, I don't know what it is.
well . . .
30.11.2013 by Heythere
that happens to me all the time.
I actually don't care if people thought good or bad of me, even close people. it really is not because I think low of them, I mean how can I think low of my family. but when even my own family picks on some random guy, and starts saying bad things about them I make a stand and demand that they finish it, even backfiring their words to themselves, whoever they may be.
As other people said, I too do it because I know how hurtful it is to be objected by other people that you have no chance of defending yourself against.
